WK5 Identity

 I have to admit that I’ve been thinking about this homework for the past 10 days. I truly made an effort to just say SOMETHING about myself. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful. The thing is, I believe  that it is not possible for one to know who they are in essence. Everyone has a potential to be everything, honest, funny, a liar, a whore, a Saint, it only depends who they are perceived by. When thinking about myself, I always think about myself in society. It is only possible to exist in relation to others. As The Looking Glass Self theory suggests, you "are" what you think that others think you are. It doesn't matter if we are alone. We have memories, our beliefs, moral code, whatever. All are shaped by and connected with others.  It is impossible for one to separate the “I” from the “others”, thus it is impossible for me to know who I am (in essence). 

My gender role is something that has always been confusing to me as a child, and has brought me a lot of pain. Although I am a CIS female and have never identified as a boy in my life, I have struggled with my “girliness”. I would frequently hear things like “Girls aren’t sloppy/messy/lound...” and at one point during my childhood I even started doubting whether I was a girl at all.  As I grew up, I realized that it is not I who was wrong, but the society. In his article Gender Roles and Behaviour Aaron Devor discusses cultural mythologies regarding male and female gender. Masculine characteristics identify a person as male, while feminine characteristics identify a female. However, both are social constructs deeply rooted in the way patriarchal society perceives individuals.

In patriarchal societies a female is an individual who is subordinate, sensitive and caring, while aggressiveness and dominance would indicate maleness. Anything from someone’s speech pattern, style of dressing  to  non verbal cues, such as body posture, can indicate their gender. It is not easy for either males or females in this society. While females are expected to be heterosexual, vulnerable and dependent on men, males are expected to be competitive, dominant and not to exhibiting  female-like behaviour due to the fact that they would be regarded as a “loser”. Aaron Devor argues that gender roles are a part of social hegemony which leads us to believe that masculinity and femininity exist due to socially directed hormonal instructions, however this does not necessarily have to be the case since there are plenty of exceptions to this rule.